More often than not, I find the “advice for people going through a divorce” columns to be unhelpful at best. Nevertheless, since it is my profession, I read them. I think this article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-ask-your-spouse-for-a-divorce-like-a-grownup_us_56d491e9e4b0bf0dab32f0bc?ir=Divorce§ion=us_divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce has a lot of good advice if you are considering or actually going through a divorce.
One important thing to remember is that the litigation phase of your divorce is only a small part of your life. You will have a life outside of your lawyer’s office. If you have children, you will be tied to your former spouse for the rest of your life. You will want that tie to be as healthy as possible. You should also remember that the anger and ill will that often is felt at the beginning of a divorce will not always be there. Make it possible for you and your spouse to talk about your kids.